Dear AA... I think that this has become a tactic of "the Borg."
A similar control tactic happened at three weddings that we (my husband, and I, my adult son and his wife) have been invited to.
I don't even know how the elders found out about these things... but they did, and they did their dirty work.
People were told "if ex-elder gives the talk, and you go, it won't be good for you".... or "if you go to that gathering, and "they" are there......
We were not uninvited to the weddings, but people did not show up. I guess the moral people here were the ones "on the way out" who had the decency to show respect for real friendship.